How Different Are Networking Approaches in the USA vs. the CIS
A smile isn’t a trick. A recommendation isn’t “blat.”
Why is it that for Americans, socializing is a way of life (like for me today), while people in CIS countries examine every new connection under a microscope, trying to spot a scam? And honestly—how else are you supposed to react to a smiling stranger who invites you for a cup of coffee?
1. “Achieving a goal through a connection”: blat vs. referral
CIS: “through connections” = suspicion and devaluation
Back home, there’s often a default logic: if someone landed a great job or project, it must have happened “through connections”—even if they went through every interview stage and nailed the test assignment.
I describe this dynamic in detail in my book “Networking Guide: From a Loner to a Social Magnet.”
That’s where negative beliefs come from: “I’ll do everything myself,” “I can’t owe anyone,” “asking is embarrassing.” As a result, people preemptively shut the door on support from others.
USA: a referral = a “quality stamp”
In the USA, referrals are used as a trust tool. It’s as if someone says: “I know this person, and I’m willing to put my reputation behind them.” That’s why American companies often ask in applications: “Do you know anyone who works at our company? In which department?”
And the more people who can vouch for you, the higher the chances you’ll be hired—because it lowers the risk of a bad hiring decision.
2. Connection culture: small talk as a skill vs. small talk as “empty talk”
CIS: we were genuinely not taught
CIS culture often values depth, substance, and “not wasting time on nonsense.” That’s why small talk can feel like a waste of time—and the skill simply doesn’t get practiced.
USA: small talk as a social ritual
In my notes on cross-cultural differences, I break down a key US principle: communicate clearly and directly, because historically the country was built by huge numbers of immigrants who didn’t share the same context. That’s where the habit comes from—saying the obvious out loud and building connection through simple questions.
But here’s a nuance people from the CIS often dislike: “speaking directly” ≠ “speaking bluntly/honestly.” Americans may avoid a direct “no,” wrap feedback in compliments, and soften edges to avoid hurting someone.
3. Appearance: seriousness vs. a smile
CIS: seriousness = competence
A strict face (“Slavic face”) is often read as “a business person” and “I’m here for a purpose.”
USA: a smile = basic politeness
An American smile doesn’t always mean “we’re friends now.” More often it means: “I’m open to a conversation.”
When people around you smile, it’s easier to start talking, easier to ask for help, and easier to find common ground—like at the coffee machine.
4. “Connections are only for…”: a managers’ privilege vs. a life norm
CIS: networking as a tool “for business people”
In the CIS, many believe connections are only necessary for executives, entrepreneurs, and celebrities. An “ordinary person” supposedly doesn’t need them.
USA: everyone has contacts
In the American logic, there are no “useless people”—only people you simply haven’t crossed paths with at the right moment yet. And that’s tied to the fact that in the US, networking is part of everyday life: neighbors, school parents, sports, volunteering, local communities.
5. System: chaos vs. a built-in ritual
CIS: “I’ll go to an event—and we’ll see what happens”
We often act on inspiration: today you register, tomorrow you change your mind. If you have a specific goal within a set timeframe, that approach rarely produces results.
USA: networking as a habit
Americans put meetings on the calendar, do short calls, plan random coffee chats during lunch breaks. It’s part of the daily routine—and networking is organically built into it.